Namibia - boy

Equipped with only a car and a SIM card (and our luggage) we set forth into the desert wilderness on the B1 where not a soul could be seen in any direction. After spending summer in the UK this was our first glimpse of the sun for a few months and it seemed to radiate heat as well as light. Our first stop was a desert camp equipped with pool and barbeques for each air-conditioned tent where we enjoyed a couple of cool beers while watching the landscape ripple in the heat. The nearby Namibian restaurant which sported a zoo of various seasoned marinated game ready to be thrown on hot coals proved to be the best we experienced. There, we could grade animals by their succulence; experience their inner quality with a glass red wine. Game drives would never be the same again as cervine beasts would elicit taste memories of differing qualities.

From the base pleasures of animal feasting we soared high into the skies on a Balloon voyage that took us over valleys and mountains. All is still in the air until there’s a breeze, a signal that the wind will take you on a different course, and if the air doesn’t take you higher then a propane blast will. Our pilot landed with ease of the back of a trailer and let the mass deflate. We had landed for breakfast where we enjoyed more game pleasures, this time mostly smoked with a glass of champagne.

Thus sated, we headed for a luxury government lodge. Not a contradiction in terms and not usually our thing but there was no room anywhere else. There’s lots of space in Namibia but few places to stay. However, the empty space does look amazing from these premium locations.

From there, we drove as far into the desert as out 2x4 would take us; a 4x4 taxi would then take us further and unbeknownst to us, not return. But more on that later. In the blistering heat we scrambled over dunes to arrive at the eerie Dead Vlei, a long since dried up lake that looks the size of a football pitch until you’re in the middle of it. After thirty minutes of walking we slowly began to appreciate its full size as the far side appeared to recede slowly in “dolly zoom” fashion. Not only did we have this acute sense of perspective distortion but there were exceptionally clear fake water mirages all around us at the lake’s rim. The whole effect was awesome - literally. We were enchanted by the place as hundreds of photos of cracked mud, sand, sky and dead trees will attest.

We made our way back, and waited for the 4x4 taxi to return. None did. So we followed some tracks that criss-crossed the dry river bed which we felt sure led to our 2x4, all the while taking pictures of the desert behind us so we’d know where we’d come from should we get lost. Hmmmm. Luckily, we were picked up by a couple in their 4x4 going in the same direction before the need arose to drink our own urine.

Our plans took our little Toyota 2x4 on yet more adventures up The Skeleton Coast where its suspension and grip would be tested to the max on extreme gravel roads, through dried up rocky river beds and over one particular dune that has been crossing a road for the last twenty years and had to be traversed at speed.

Space and scenery was the abiding memory, seemingly endless roads and endless photo opportunities of the “road disappearing over the horizon” cliché.

We breathed in the heady stench of a seal colony, stopped by a decaying hull of a small wooden fishing vessel, did walkabout on a home-made walking safari (we were assured by our guide book that lions were rare in this neck of the woods and hyenas would run away if encountered) and all with barely a human soul in site.

Etosha National Park is worth mentioning here as it’s not just another game park; the sheer quantity of animals is impressive. I guess when the main lake is dry, as it was, all the animals have to congregate by the two dozen watering holes dotted around the park. This leads to light confrontations, mainly between rhino and everything else; the former having a miserable disposition; or maybe charging is its way of saying hello. Astonishingly, we saw a lion up and about, doing some exercise for once. He was walking through herds of nervous looking animals, probably on his way to a watering hole. Most of the other lions behaved predictably enough though, doing what they always do on safaris, ie. sleep. A couple momentarily lapsed into hunting mode and failed spectacularly to catch some colourful but ungainly guinea fowl. King of the jungle my arse.

We managed to miss leopards by a whisker on one occasion, but caught a fifteen minute spectacle of a herd of elephants trooping single file to a watering hole and start bathing and according to C acting all emotional. There was one disappointment though, a night safari, where the only animals we saw were ones that only look interesting on a plate with sauce.

After some brief stops to see some petrified trees, dinosaur tracks the size of chickens feet and a rare Namibian vineyard we arrived back at what must take the prize for the most inactive capital in the world, Windhoek.