North Korea - boy

It's very hard not to have preconceptions of North Korea given the recent incidents, rhetoric, popular film and recent articles and books about the place and just in case we didn't have any, our preamble in Beijing and first day chatting to people who work there set us up with the following: they are fiercely proud of their country; believe they are misunderstood and persecuted; wholeheartedly believe their lot would be much worse without Great and Dear Leader to guide them; are happy with the sacrifices they are making in order to pursue their ideological goals; know full well that the west is richer and may have an easier life but believe it comes at a moral price.

The English acronyms for the two Koreas are worth a mention here: ROK (Republic of Korea) implies South Korea only while DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea) implies both North and South to North Koreans. In fact, when they describe "their" country's geography they will include the cities, lakes and hills of South Korea as if there's no divide. The designation North Korea is not liked by the North because it implies a division and we were asked to use "DPRK" (despite the implication) to not cause offence.

This isn't the only thing that causes offence. For example, we were asked to be careful when folding a newspaper with Great or Dear Leaders' faces on it and to watch what objects rest against either face lest we upset anyone. On one occasion, we were told, a letter of apology had to be written to sooth the nerves of some poor North Korean who witnessed the unholy sight of laundry items resting atop Great or Dear Leader's face. Kim Il-sung knows what collective nervous breakdown would ensue if Jyllands-Posten were ever to publish cartoons in North Korea.

Only a short time after leaving Beijing our flight had left harmonious airspace and entered "liberated" airspace where we enjoyed the very entertaining in-flight magazines. The papers regaled us with many parables involving Great Leader Kim Il-sung; they waxed about factory visits by Dear Leader Kim Jung Il where he acquainted himself with the factory's inner workings, gave advice and praised the workers and their output using revolutionary similes; and we learned how the dastardly US imperialist aggressors and South Korean puppets stifle reunification at every turn.

After waiting an extremely long time for customs to examine and seal the group's mobile phones we were greeted by what would be the voices of North Korea over the next week. We had three guides, one more than normal, for our very small group of six plus one American. They would chaperone us everywhere and ensure we didn't stray from our designated path, or spontaneously interact with other North Koreans, or photograph anything they didn't like. For example, our American contingent was asked to remove a photo of a propaganda painting showing Dear Leader being worshipped by the masses. Who knows what would happen if that picture were to get into the wrong hands.

We arrived just before North Korea played their first match of the World Cup. I was half expecting the losses of the North Korean team to be withheld since they don't show the matches live but our guides seemed pleased with the narrow loss against Brazil. The government must also have been pleased because we found out later that they aired their next match against Portugal live for the first time and lost 7-0. I would be surprised if they do that again. I asked if we could see a match with the locals outside the confines of our hotel since the tour was called 'North Korea World Cup Tour' but we weren't allowed.

I found it unsettling to learn that no guide was ever allowed to be with us on their own although (almost) private chats were possible on the bus. If they harboured any doubts or opinions that conflicted with Dear or Great Leader they didn't show it. If they believed their news or version of history was anything but the whole truth and nothing but, they didn't express it. We had many varied discussions on politics and other potentially sensitive topics in which they participated with gusto though I was surprised to learn later that one of our guides felt extremely agitated during these discussions. On occasion a fundamental contradiction would rear up and their answer would disappointingly, but not surprisingly, revert to the party line, or their perfect English would suddenly be found wanting or they would simply not answer the question.

Our views frequently boiled down to different facts. This was further reduced to the question of where the information came from and this ultimately ended in their surrealistic suggestions and outright statements of complete faith in their press and leaders. Especially their Great (departed) Leader, their president and father, whose word is gospel. This is not an exaggeration, it's a belief as unswerving (and as uncompromising) as that of any religious zealot. They believe success and prosperity are just around the corner, that the Juche idea (self reliance) and extreme socialism will win out in the end and failures in progress can be blamed on the US or US proxy organisations such as the UN. These were the common themes repeated ad nauseum throughout our tour.

Do most North Koreans think like our guides? Given the absolute control over information and praise heaped on both leaders at all times it's wouldn't be outrageous to assume that most others think along similar lines and with similar vigour. All North Koreans join the Kim Il-sung league at eight and receive a badge with Great Leader's face on it at fourteen, which they will wear for the rest of their lives. There's plenty of information to go with these symbolic moments and everyone is subject to this to a greater or lesser degree. At its most benign, it takes the form of large printed slogans such as "long live Kim Il-sung!" adorning hills and bridges. At its most invasive, it involves loudspeakers sounding rousing music and commands to "do your duty" from 8am till 10 at night. A typically well read North Korean will not have had access to any news or history books outside of North Korea so what chance do they have to acquire a different view? And I've no doubt that those who like being told what to think can live quite happily within the parameters set by their "Fathers".

Could our guides have feigned a belief in their history, news and infallibility of their leaders? The selection process for North Korean guides would be surely be found wanting if it were ever to let a few 'unbelievers' slip in. Any totalitarian paranoid state worth their salt must be world leaders in rooting-out-dissenters engineering if they are to concentrate on the more important matters like money laundering or importing crates of Cognac for its elite. Many people do crave information from outside North Korea and who knows what this leads to? However, voicing contrary views on contentious issues is loss of privilege at best and life at worst so I'm guessing that all opinions we heard were subject to rigorous self-censorship. Though I can never know, I'm of the mind that most North Koreans really do believe. Especially our guides; regular viewings of the kinds of one-sided documentaries and presentations that we saw all week must surely make one an enthusiastic devotee. And anyway, more than half the world lives with far stranger contradictions so it wouldn't be surprising to find that North Koreans can do it too, in spades. I feel though for the inquisitive minority that doesn't think this way; they must lead a miserable existence.

The North Korean style of news and documentary are something to behold, from the twee Pâthé news style of the fifties to the 'playground name calling' style or lack thereof. "This is the Korean way" we were repeatedly told when I asked if it were possible to report the news and history using neutral language. Within the propaganda facts exist that substantiate much of what the North Koreans are saying and sadly it's lost amid the sycophancy and hysteria. Most of our "museum" guides used simplistic and provocative rhetoric too, but that is not too surprising since many (if not all) books and articles are written in the same vein. Without competing viewpoints exaggerations and outright lies reign free. For example, they say things like "when Dear Leader was eight years old he offered invaluable strategic advice to the army ... Dear Leader got four holes in one the first time he played golf ... etc ...etc".  For us this is comedy and an insult to our intelligence. Do the guides in the museums realise this? Our permanent guides, whose job it is to talk to Westerners, probably do since they avoid these kinds of fables.

The Korean War, according to the Victorious Fatherland Liberation War Museum, is an uncomplicated story of good versus bad, heroes versus aggressors. Like the other museums in North Korea it has the aspect of a shrine with many statues and paintings of Great Leader and his exploits. An unprepared and defensive North repelled the US and South Korean army so effectively that within three days they reached Seoul. China and Russia are given scant mention but when asked the guide did admit that they offered "some assistance". The museum also has many letters on display written by US and UN officials with text highlighted that proves various points, but other letters are woefully taken out of context and easily spotted by anyone that can read the non-highlighted text. The documentary they showed us described how the US started the war in Korea in order to sell weapons left over from WWII. To illustrate this point, images of the US depression in the thirties were juxtaposed with weapons being shipped by the American GIs in the late forties.

The exhibits, information and documentaries at the other militaristic tourist attractions, such as the visit to the DMZ or the captured vessel USS Pueblo, were presented in the same vein and again, unashamedly one-sided and economical with the truth. The same rhetoric couldn't even be avoided at the ancient sites where bile was directed at Japanese imperialists for destroying much of their heritage, though it was slightly more tempered, obviously saving their spleen for the new enemy in town.

They do however use neutral tones when they give quantitative information, which they do a lot; dimensions, cubic capacity, people capacity, dates and any incidental numerical information that happen to coincide with Great or Dear Leaders' birthday and hat-size. I think they need to regurgitate so many innocuous measurements because it's the only non-confrontational information they have, and offers brief respite from sounding like they're constantly on high-alert.

Interestingly, our permanent guides toned down the "museum" guides' rhetoric when translating and only sometimes succumbed to it themselves. Only on one occasion was the demeanour visibly rattled; on our visit to the DMZ. One normally cool guide made the not so cool suggestion that a response to the South Koreans sending propaganda via large TVs was to kill them. Loud TVs are an act of war apparently. I agree that the noise can't be pleasant for the North Korean farmers that have to work in the DMZ (they farm there because many acres of arable land is now used by an empty eight lane highway) but there is surely a better proposal. Nope, "the South Korean leaders are mad dogs and what do you do with mad dogs?" I know that we have a loud minority in the West that uses similar logic but here in North Korea I don't believe you ever hear minority opinions, least of all by those few individuals chosen to speak to tourists. To settle the point our guide brought out a familiar axiom that we heard on more than one occasion; "war to war, action to action" [Kim 3 verse 4].

Quotes from the good books of Juche are everywhere and our guides had a few favourites. One was "seeing is believing" whenever we were shown something that they felt sure substantiated their version of events. However, one is never allowed to scratch below the surface. The structure of a tightly controlled tour doesn't allow any reasonable time to be spent in any museum examining the evidence they present. There may well be valid points that we haven't considered but we'll never know if they keep groups controlled in this way. Ironically, in spoon feeding us information and controlling our travel, they are in many ways giving us a more authentic North Korean experience then they realise.

The museums showing North Korea's technical and cultural achievements fared little better than the militaristic ones in the way of objective information. Like the other museums they were more like shrines than places to learn. The technology section consisted of basic manufacturing equipment, like lathes and even cabinets containing standard video cables, placed around a large warehouse with the omnipresent grand sculpture of Great Leader looking outward in a meaningful pose. The "museum" of Juche ideology was simply a mass of Great and Dear Leaders' books behind glass with various photos of them in meaningful poses, plus an even grander statue of Great Leader looking significant. Sometimes I would think everything was normal because my brain somehow justified it as parody. Other times, I would have to confront the fact that devotion is what constitutes information here and try to get my head around it.

And there was more to come. At the Mansudae Grand Monument there is an enormous statue of Great Leader that dwarfs the others and we were asked to treat it as a holy place and bow before it while they presented flowers. As with any conduct that concerns Great Leader offence can easily be caused unintentionally such as taking a photo of only part of the statue instead of the entire thing. Our tour of megalomania reached almost fictional proportions when we visited the International Friendship Exhibition. This is two sets of subterranean halls and passages built into the mountainside that contain all the gifts Great and Dear Leader have ever received from ambassadors and institutions from outside. A motley collection of TVs, furniture, marble plaques, paintings, statuettes, stuffed animals, vehicles etc and even counters showing the quantity of gifts given and a map of the world with those countries who gave lit up accordingly. And then we entered the 'special room'. I was half expecting to see a bald man stroking a white cat saying "Hello Mr Bond, I've been expecting you" but instead we were treated to warm music and a woodland scene containing a life size wax model of Great Leader. We entered with fake reverence and disbelief, followed our guides cue to bow in silence and walked away with the single most bizarre experience I'll probably ever have in my life.

When you are shuttled from place to place and see only what they want you to see, it is easy to start thinking that the level of development is higher than it really is. However, reminders of what it's really like are everywhere: land used for farming in unusual places such as the airport. The quantity of people we saw in the city and countryside that were weeding or picking grass. The large grimy un-repaired blocks of flats; the fact that everything looks like it was built fifty years ago and never maintained; the famously unfinished Ryugyong hotel that sticks out like an aging concrete spaceship; the lack of running water in buildings that look like they should have better infrastructure; the eerie darkness of the Pyongyang cityscape at night; the general lack of cars and people for a city of three million; and the constantly changing itinerary because hotels and attractions were "not ready". Before coming to North Korea I thought they might have had a set number of places to visit that were always ready for tourists, but this cannot be the case.

Besides the obvious visual clues that we're not in Kansas now, there were subtler ones: their Arc de Triomphe is deliberately built a few metres higher than its namesake in Paris; it is considered noteworthy that when Dear Leader visited the Grand Study Hall he "advised" those responsible to replace fixed-height tables with individual adjustable ones; there were obvious contradictions such as telling us that the Grand Study Hall in Pyongyang is available to all North Koreans even though movement throughout North Korea is restricted; there were ridiculous claims such as inventing the spoon in the thirteenth century; the trains in the metro were from the old DDR (East Germany); they think revolving restaurants are cool; their newsreader speaks in fanatical tones when she talks about their leaders; they have ice-skating bears in the circus that wear leotards.

And then there's the not so subtle clues: large (excellently drawn) propaganda posters with slogans like "Have you done your work"; Great Leader's giant portraits outside buildings; gigantic statues of Great Leader in entrance halls; photos and paintings of Great and Dear Leaders adorning almost every wall. But, if there was one aspect I had to pick that demonstrates North Korea perfectly, it would be the following: their latest achievement is an eight lane highway to Nampo port, made top priority at the behest of their Dear Leader in 1999 and built by children (our guides say). Now, it's a crumbling highway serving a handful of cars. But! Traffic will come by 2012, our guides faithfully predict. The whole venture has shades of 'The Great Leap Forward', the cargo cults and Kevin Costner's Field of Dreams ("if you build it they will come") all rolled into one.

On the way over I read an article about how children in the North Korea are the happiest in the world. If happiness consists of singing, dancing, performing gymnastics or playing an instrument with a smile tattooed on your face then they might be on to something. The selection of children we saw were no doubt a privileged few and very good at what they do, but of course no way of asking them if their training schedules make them happy. We also visited an orphanage where the children also sang and danced for us while practising their own plastic smiles they would need later in life. The place was conspicuously overflowing with toys (taken from every other orphanage?) and I remember seeing an article in the Pyongyang Times which conspicuously showed mountains of food for the kids. I can just hear our guides now saying "you see what the orphans have in North Korea, seeing is believing".

The trouble with a restricted tour where you're constantly shadowed and prevented from leaving the hotel when the guides are not around is the constant speculation you have to do to make sense of it all. If North Korea wants to give the impression it doesn't control people then controlling a tour group isn't a good start. But it is the North Korean way. All books, news, guides and "museums" show similar subterfuge when they desperately show "evidence" for the North Korean perspective. When it's as unsophisticated as showing a picture of food to prove there is food, or a painting as evidence for a battle story then it almost becomes unreal. "Saying is believing" should be their slogan; would it hurt to admit this? I find it chilling that these blunt methods may actually work on the faithful.

There were many questions left unanswered, but they weren't for want of asking. I wondered whether our guides thought it bizarre that many of us distrust most of our media and think our leaders make mistakes. These kinds of questions were answered with a blank stare, though they could easily think that our media must be inferior if we have to question it. Harder to answer though was whether they would trust the press from countries obviously not aligned to the US. China is their economic friend but there doesn't appear to be any love lost on either side; some North Koreans even consider the Chinese to be boorish (nothing to do with queuing by any chance?) The closest to anything like respect was a brief conversation about the intelligent choices Deng Xiaoping made in the eighties regarding the Special Economic Zones. Is the implication that they want someone like him? Heresy, surely.

I posed a hypothetical question to one of our guides: "all of DPRKs weapons disappear; the world knows that DPRK is defenceless; what happens next?" The response was "the US would invade". Such is the fear the North Koreans have of the US. I tried to explain that the US does actually care about its standing in the world and that this action would be committing public relations suicide. When the next tour group comes along maybe they'll have a better answer, like the "US will convince the world that North Korea has WMD" but for the moment it's blank stares, party lines or expressions of fear.

They hate the UN too. And the hate is as deep as their reasons are shallow. Here's one of them: even though the UN Security Council rejected the US proposal to invade Iraq, they are still to be reviled for giving the US a platform with which to make the proposal in the first place. In short, the UN is to be reviled. There is nothing one can say, no evidence one can present, no argument one can use to make them change the opinion that their dear leaders have given them. This is pure unadulterated fundamentalism. I'm glad that they don't have their own version of the apocalypse though their version of the 'end of days' is rather heartening: reunification; when their Southerly kin accept the North's dead leader as president. There is no way of saying "Great Leader and his legacy are the biggest obstacles to reunification" without causing offence, so I kept my mouth shut. This is a sad state of affairs because South Koreans have also a penchant for reunification, only they don't obsess about it.

The country is fascinating and tragic. Without a peace treaty or reunification they seem to be stuck in limbo, caught in a fifties time-warp, like an obsessive parent who has lost an only child and keeps their bedroom exactly as it was. There is constant talk of reunification, if only the US and South Korean puppet leaders would let the Korean people go. Meanwhile the South has got on with things.

It's bizarre to be chaperoned like dignitaries around normally mundane places such as a local drinking hole, department store (and I use the term loosely), shop, metro station, study house, orphanage. These are not normally tourist attractions but they are here. They get to show us how good it can be compared to the rest of North Korea and we see how bad it is compared to the rest of the world. Real live communism in action as implemented by hereditary socialist despots. Yes, North Koreans are well practised in handling contradictions. It is a left wing country with an immigration policy any right wing fascist group would die for. It is a place where they preach the virtues of self-reliance while accepting large amounts of aid. A people that believe their "military first" government is the most peace loving in the world.

We don't need to handle the contradictions but we did need to talk among ourselves at the end of the day just to be sure we did hear correctly and weren't going crazy. A couple of nights our guides joined us, always in pairs, tongues were loosened with beer and we talked to them about some of the craziness that goes on in the outside world. Those were excellent nights where we had a lot of laughs and probably left our guides with the impression that Europe, the US and Australia are indeed scary places that they best keep away from.

To end on a positive note - and I'll try without any buts - the artwork on the propaganda posters that dot the city is superb. They've improved on the communist hammer and sickle symbol by adding a writing brush symbolising the intellectual (even if it's only symbolic). Their statues with the populace in various proletariat poses are second to none, the performance at the Children's Palace was exceptional, the beer was superb and we had a wonderful time in the park dancing with the locals. Also, their barrier across the river mouth is an impressive feat of engineering but have to disagree with the statement that it "could only be built by the brave heroic Koreans". Okay, one but.

Freedom of religion seems to be allowed in practice but I think their home grown holy binity (to rhyme with trinity) father and son team would have to be first in line for idolatry. And if the elite follow their leaders by example there must surely be a power structure that resembles an aristocracy. I know, more buts, but it's very hard to be positive for long because the cracks are so obvious to us.

They don't speculate openly about who may succeed Kim Jong-il and the mere suggestion that Dear Leader won't be around forever caused consternation with our guides when C asked. We do, and based on our news it will probably be Kim Jong-un with Dear Leader no doubt holding some immortal position when he dies. Once the propaganda starts about how wonderful Dear Leader's third son is they may speculate openly too.