North Korea - girl

I shall revert to diary style for this entry as everything was interesting enough for comment, nothing was dull and every moment brought a new level of crazy and/or horror. Even the country's name is interesting: we call it North Korea but to North Koreans this is extremely offensive as it recognises the split between North and South and is seen as an imperialist term, or something. DPRK is how North Koreans like us to refer to their country but since it technically means ALL of the Korean peninsula under their rule that is a little disturbing for those of us not supporting despotic nonsensical regimes. The North Korean leadership (and its brainwashed population) see their rule as ideally extending across the peninsula whatever the South's view and, when reality is so far from anyone's mind in the north, this is also considered fine. Therefore, despite calling it DPRK whilst there, and despite liking short acronyms more than long country names, I shall use North Korea in this entry.

 

Day 1:

The rousing music on the aeroplane helped prepare me mentally for what was in store in North Korea. The plane was an old Russian one and on it I certainly felt as if I was being transported back in time to the 1950s. The food was bad, I've already mentioned the music, everyone looked malnourished and their clothes were drab and cheap. I couldn't take my eyes off the lapel badges - turns out every adult in North Korea wears a lapel badge with a picture of Kim Jong Il or Kim Il Sung to demonstrate loyalty to their 'father'. Brilliant. I determined then and there that I was going to get me one of those puppies.

 

As we flew in to North Korean airspace there was a priceless tannoy announcement informing us that we were now entering liberated airspace thanks to Kim Jung Il, or some such nonsense. There were a few of these announcements but sadly the old equipment made them hard to hear properly. Thankfully, the rest of the trip afforded plenty of hilarity in the same vein.  We all very much enjoyed the papers and magazines handed out on the flight - who wouldn't want to read the exploits of Kim Jung Il? I quote from the 12/06/10 edition of the Pyongyang Times:

 

"After being briefed on the new project in front of the diagram of production processes, he [KJI] looked round several places for a long time to familiarise himself with the construction and production. Feasting his eyes over a large network of gasification processes... he then lavished praise on the workers in the complex and builders for displaying popular heroism and patriotic devotion in the construction of a great creation. He said that thanks to the indomitable revolutionary spirit of the workers who boast the proud tradition of carrying out any difficult task given by the WPK (Workers Party of Korea) at any cost the gasification project has been built splendidly to mass-produce Juche fertiliser. This is the revolutionary spirit of the heroic Korean workers who have glorified the sacred annals of the revolution with painstaking efforts and brilliant achievements, he added".

 

I could go on, and on, and on, with comedy brilliance from the paper but I think an anecdote from our briefing might work better: it's considered incredibly insulting to damage or deface anything with a picture of either the Dear or Great Leader on it, this goes so far as even leaving a pair of clean socks on top of a newspaper, we learned. One former visitor was forced to write a letter of apology to hotel staff after a cleaner found such socks on a paper in someone's room!

 

The view over North Korea as we approached Pyongyang was almost entirely rural and even on either side of the runway people were farming the land - in fact, every square cm of available land is cultivated in North Korea. Once the plane had landed we taxied for a good twenty minutes to reach the parking spot and terminal - no idea why since there were no other flights or traffic. And then we were standing in North Korea. Surreal. Our guides were waiting for us outside the airport - rather than the promised two we had three (turns out that's because we had one imperialist pig American in our group who required special guarding [note: he was lovely, it's not me who thinks he's an imperialist pig]). We spent some time chatting to the guides as the airport staff worked out what to do with the mobiles that had been brought into the country - feet in mouth a number of times for all of us within minutes - calling the country by its outside name, referring to things we shouldn't, we just couldn't help ourselves. Luckily we quickly learned what we could and couldn't say and as the week passed, the guides loosened up too.

 

On our way to the hotel we stopped at the North Korean version of the Arc de Triumph - proudly proclaimed to be just taller than the French one. Why not? If you're going to blatantly copy something, why not make it a little bigger? This was our first experience with the North Korean penchant for measuring: they like to measure and record EVERYTHING. I'm not sure why but I'm sure it gives people something to do! I wonder if they're surprised that tourists are rarely interested in how long/high/heavy something is. We were quickly to understand that we could take pictures without worry in Pyongyang unless told otherwise - and we did, hundreds, all of us.

 

Our hotel, the YanGakDo, was situated on an island in the middle of the river. We were safe from the North Koreans and they were safe from us! The hotel is only for foreigners and their minders and is just huge. I imagine its capacity is far beyond need, even when tour loads of gawking Chinese appear. The rooms were very nice - a normal 3 or 4 star hotel with fridge, international tv and full bathroom - far beyond the dreams of the average North Korean. After a pretty nice supper we headed to the revolving restaurant on the top of the tower for drinks (the North Koreans love these places and are extremely proud of the numerous revolving places in Pyongyang - we sort of mentioned that the whole revolving thing is a bit passé for the west these days but pretty much just oohed and aaahed on request every time we were shown another revolving building part).

 

Our hotel, big and plush as it was, had nothing on the giant space shuttle/ice cream cone they're currently rebuilding in the city centre. This thing was begun some fifteen years ago but work stopped before the turn of the century due to a lack of funds (I was impressed they mentioned this). Currently it is being completed in time for the expected 2012 glut of tourists - something about 2012 being the year their fortunes change. Despite the lovely glass facade, I'd be concerned about the concrete foundations that were open to the elements for ten years and are not being replaced.

 

There must have been a power cut that night as the city was almost entirely dark (we had a generator in the hotel, of course), something we haven't really experience in a big city since living in Africa. Once the bar staff made it clear they wanted us to leave we retired to the downstairs bar and carried on drinking, this time with our tour leader and the head of the tour company who is also a film director. We learned an awful lot from both of them but were sad to find that the guides would not be joining us for meals or evening drinks. The evening set the pace for a week of evening silliness. I definitely found that the drinking helped relieve the tensions and allowed the group an opportunity to relax, laugh at all we'd heard and return to our normality for a few hours.

 

Day 2:

We were greeted by rain on the our morning in Pyongyang so after a quick stop to buy flowers for the great leader (Kim Il Sung) we headed to the Study Hall - this is a monumental palace type building where lucky Pyongyang-ers can come and study anything they choose (?) for free. I would question the 'anything' 'choose' and 'free' but that's just me. It was admitted that there are no such opportunities for people living outside of the city either. The building itself was incredible but the facilities were sad and old: from books donated by the USA and old computers with no internet access to boom boxes for learning about music, everything cut a sorry picture. We were shown into one room that had a number of books on display in glass cases. I'm not sure what we were supposed to glean from the room - that people could read foreign books in any language (a Mongolian language primer in Russian, anyone?) perhaps? All I saw was a guide being oddly proud of a motley collection of pretty useless books we'd have chucked out years ago and all under lock and key. We were also allowed to touch some - the English ones were truly donated by the USA. I'm surprised that wasn't hidden from us. There is no internet in the country, just an intranet on to which the 'dear leader' allows information to be put. There is no access to the outside world for the vast majority of people. Our guides were interested in anything we could offer them; from repeating the BBC news coverage to giving them old Economists and old news on the IPod. Whether they were interested to know what nonsense we are fed or whether they want to know what's going on, we have no idea.

 

In a huge study hall (think exam schools in Oxford) we were told how one day, Kim Jung Il paid a visit to the building and wisely informed the managers that the desks were inappropriate since they didn't take into account the different heights of the users. So, heeding these wise words, they set about creating desks with weird fan-type contractions to adjust the height of the desks. Odd in so many ways: why does the leader get involved in such trivialities?; why does it matter? I'm pretty sure our libraries wouldn't take kindly to such interventions. We heard many such stories on our trip - the dear leader uttering some wise words, teaching his 'children' how to act - even when he was ten years old during the war he managed to advise fighter pilots on strategy; truly the guy must be a genius.

 

Next stop was a colossal statue of Kim Il Sung. Before arriving we had to get rid of any gum we might be chewing and smarten ourselves up for a visit to the great man. We walked, in a line, to the statue, paused to take in the enormity of the moment and our privilege, before laying flowers (just a few of us, not C or me), bowing and shuffling off. Needless to say we were all pretty amused by this event and did not feel particularly reverent. I definitely stifled a giggle or two and sort of nodded in the great man's direction. I don't bow or curtsey to our royal family, so I'm certainly not doing more than the absolute necessary here either. I have to say, though, that North Korean statues are incredibly beautiful - they're so lifelike. I'm very impressed. I believe the statue was originally covered in gold leaf. I was told Stalin or Mao or someone visited and pointed out that it didn't give a good impression of Communism so it was replaced with bronze. Move over Oscar Wilde!

 

A ride on the metro was a bit weird - where else in the world is that a tourist attraction? We went between two stations (not allowed to see the others for some reason). I would say that contrary to lots of people's thoughts, those we saw on the metro were not actors, it's definitely a train system that is used. I believe it's the deepest system in the world - I'm sure they told us how deep, long etc. but I don't remember. The stations we saw were incredibly beautiful. One benefit to a militarised country seems to be mosaics, everywhere! Clearly people don't have enough to do so they're put to work making roads or gynormous mosaics. The trains are from the GDR and it shows - they're dark, old and have German graffiti scratched into the windows. I'm sure North Koreans think we take pictures of the metro because we're impressed: I was a little uncomfortable giving this impression but since we wanted the pictures to show other people, I'll have to live with the fact that we give that impression.

 

A quick trip up the Juche Tower afforded new hilarities and insights into the mind of North Korea when we were shown an alcove with plaques sent from around the world purporting to support Juche. The guides clearly thought that a) this meant many around the world knew they were right; and b) that they were underground and in hiding in case they were killed for their beliefs. Our, equally fervent, belief that the plaques were sent by unhinged individuals or small groups, and that they had the right to believe whatever they wanted did not go down well. 

 

After a hilarious bookshop (propaganda anyone? - actually we bought loads as it was so much fun) we headed off to the birthplace of Kim Il Sung - a dull restored cottage in beautiful countryside just outside Pyongyang. This was our first experience of a 'reverential voice' in North Korea. When they talk about the leaders they're expected to use a 'special voice'. I have no idea how to describe this except that it warbles and sound a bit as if they're crazy. News readers do it too, for 'special news', or anything that mentions the leaders.

 

As a group we were extremely keen to ask millions of questions, some innocuous, some pushing the boundaries - it turned out that as a group we pushed more and asked more but were better behaved in general - remembering to say DPRK or not taking photos unless we'd asked first. To begin with our questions made the guides a bit uncomfortable and sometimes I think they'd deliberately lose their incredible ability with our language to mask this. Other times they realised we weren't meaning to be rude and tried their best to give us satisfactory answers. Satisfactory could range from actually answering the question to diversions, depending on how audacious the question was in the first place.

 

Because we couldn't go to the mausoleum we went to the circus instead - a proper communist circus in a fixed building. We were the only westerners in there. On one side were army youth in uniforms, on the other side were young pioneers and in front of us were Japanese (North) Koreans on their annual pilgrimage to the fatherland. They stood out a mile for their digital cameras, nice bags and general good health and size. To begin with I thought they were the most elite in the country but then we realised they were from abroad, which made them even more fascinating. I had so many questions for them but clearly never got a chance to meet them.

 

The circus was a strange experience. Despite the live orchestra every piece sounded like a bad demo on an old Casio keyboard (that's a skill, no?). The acts were pretty good although nothing compared to a children's performance we saw a few days later. I was pretty upset by the ice skating bears and monkeys - not something I enjoy seeing. As in many developing countries there's no understanding of our view of cruelty to animals. At least here they get that we are unhappy, even if they do not understand it.

 

Day 3:

We began our day with a trip to Mt Myohyang to see a Buddhist temple before going to the International Friendship Collection. This collection is EVERY gift ever given to either leader (and Kim Jong Il's mother) by any foreigner. That's a lot of gifts stored in a big, underground paranoid bunker! I think they said it would take eighteen months just to see every gift given to Kim Il Sung. We did not spend that much time there but we did have a lot of fun looking at some of the ugliest gifts we've ever seen. Most gifts were from crackpot individuals or from businessmen from China.

 

We stopped outside one room and were informed that inside was a statue given by someone or other. We could all tell it was important but had no idea why, until the door opened and we were ushered in... imagine a beautiful mountain vista on the far wall, the two side walls lined with more gifts, gently rousing music playing and a life-size waxwork model of Kim Il Sung ahead. Then imagine being asked (told) to bow to it without laughing. Almost impossible? Yup. To our guides this was clearly so important and so special but to us it was like going to Madame Toussauds and being asked to bow to one of the models. We all did pretty well at stifling our giggles but honestly, not well enough. We had some slightly tense joking with the guides about the gifts and how sad we'd be if we sent gifts that ended up in a museum not being used. We were challenged to send a gift so good KJI just had to keep it: C suggested an X-box, which I thought wasn't bad.

 

As we were leaving here I asked what I thought was a pretty innocuous question: 'when Kim Jung Il dies, will he also be considered an eternal leader like his father?'. Sadly, I asked the guide least proficient in English which resulted in my question being repeated in front of everyone. The guides were horrified; they couldn't imagine the death or even begin to speculate what might happen. To begin with they thought I might have been hinting that the guy was already dead, which I wasn't. The very thought of their dear leader dying seemed to really upset them and one even feigned a heart attack to demonstrate horror - I have to say I suspected that might not have been entirely real though.

 

After lunch, on our way back to the city C and I managed to have an extremely interesting conversation with one of the guides about the UN, the USA and keeping hatred going. I asked him if he thought it was weird that as a Jew I could not hate Germans. I suggested they could choose not to teach hatred in schools and that it might help. He didn't think it was the same since the Americans are still active in their rhetoric against North Korea in his book. While I know there are American soldiers across the border and Bush did declare the place part of the 'axis of evil' (stupid man), their paranoia is what keeps all this going and that is so, so sad. One guide was happy to discuss like this, one ignored that it was going on at all and one was demonstrably uncomfortable and trying to think of ways to stop us all chatting. It's so sad. People here really believe that we hate them, they think we spend all our time thinking up ways to annihilate them and their way of life. If only they knew that most of the world truly does not care at all. They think our papers are full, on a daily basis, of articles about them and that we are all stooges of the USA and are only looking for excuses to destroy them. I think they'll be broken hearted when they realise how unimportant they are to most people.

 

Our last stop was the Children's Palace where the country's most talented (privileged?) children spend all their spare time learning to dance/sing/sew/play instruments/play sport. We were told it was to allow the kids time to have hobbies but further questioning surfaced the fact that actually they find out what a kid has a talent for and then hot house him/her. There is no doubt that the kids were incredibly talented but again, it was just scary to see small kids (as young as six or seven) behave like adults. We saw a show they put on and every performance was perfect. Every child was incredible, far superior to anything we would see from our own kids or even many professional performers. Still, how it's achieved terrifies me. I understand that the idea of the tour is to show us the best of everything but I know that most children in the country are not attending palaces like this one. In Pyongyang the other kids go to after school clubs and who knows what happens in other places, probably nothing.

 

Day 4:

Today I learned that Koreans invented the spoon in the C12 and gunpowder too. I also learned that months in the west are named after animals! I have no idea how I coped without this information before. I also learned that the father is always right and that by suggesting I don't think my dad is always right (sorry, pop), I was insulting them and their leader, who they see as their father.

 

We then went on to the DMZ, which I saw from the other side 12 years ago. More fun from the north, for sure: nowhere near enough crazy in the south. We were told by one of our guides that the South Koreans are considering using megaphones and tvs to throw propaganda at the North Koreans across the border. Apparently, if they do this, the North will consider this an act of war and shoot. Nice. This was the first time any of us got angry with the nonsense we were hearing. C very calmly asked if he thought this was a good response to tv. Yes, he did. When faced with mad dogs, one has to kick, was the response. TV propaganda is an act of war and that's that.

On the actual border line there are a number of bunkers manned by the north and some by the south. We were allowed into one - I wondered about the Americans leaving sweets by the southern door to entice the guards across but didn't feel I could ask. My anger continued here in the room where the armistice was signed when I saw for myself just how North Koreans are living - in a state on constant fear. They have been brainwashed to believe that we hate them and that war is imminent. They are all living in fear. My heart breaks for them as I hear them spout nonsense. The number of times we heard a guide or soldier-guide claim 'it's a very tense situation, it's very dangerous', I think, says it all. The South doesn't even have soldiers at the DMZ, or at least not that we could see. The North Korean guide told us it's because they use CCTV to monitor the area - surely that says it all?

 

We were also taken to see 'the wall'. It seems the South Koreans have built an anti-tank wall. The North claims they did it in secret and deny its existence but I think that's wrong, we know it's there even if the Americans may be denying it (why?). We couldn't see it though as there was too much mist. The 'general' who was also our tour guide was pretty entertaining. His medals were just one chunk of plastic made to look like medals. He was so excited to meet a real American but his parting words were: 'it's because of you that I'm here!'. Hear it to believe it! The same guy then joined us in the minibus and sang for us - I've never had a general sing for me before. He also seemed to enjoy a rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, which was a bit odd (note: I later heard the driver humming it, wonder if he knew what it was?).

 

Much of the day in the bus was taken up with the basic question 'can we take a picture now? Now? Now?' Due to the huge number of military installations across the country we had to be careful. I was amazing how quickly the guides could scan the horizon and give an answer. As a group we did see some installations: tanks, bunkers, guns, but clearly nowhere near as much as we could have with some training. We never asked why the answer was no and I think the guides appreciated that.

 

We spent the night in a town named Kaerson (sp?). As a reward for good behaviour we were taken to a quite spot overlooking the town to sit and contemplate - very interesting. Just sitting quietly revealed a lot - the noise of a town going about its daily business, complete with megaphone blasting their own propaganda: 'let's all work hard for the leader' type stuff.

 

Our hotel here was a traditional Korean hotel - five rooms around a courtyard. It was just beautiful. C and I were lucky enough to be given the only room with a living room so we invited everyone in for drinks all night. Two of the guides even joined us and we had a hilarious evening just hanging out, forgetting politics. We even discussed transsexuals and sex-change operations. An enormous thunderstorm and the loudspeaker that was turned on around 5am meant not much sleep for any of us.

 

Day 5:

On very little sleep and some big hangovers, we headed back to Pyongyang. First stop was the Three Revolutions 'Museum' (my quotation marks, not theirs). The first building we checked out was called the 'Heavy Industry' room. We were shown around a room for of machinery, basically. The highlights, for me, included some scart leads and collections of coal. What they consider impressive is extremely telling. The piece de la resistance seemed to be a computerised lathe that they claim they're importing all around the world. Given that we had electric lathes at school in the 1990s, this didn't quite ring true for most of us. I found it hard to mask my boredom and irritation in here, which led to an exchange with one of the guides that went something like this:

 

G: aren't you interested?

C: not really

G: why?

C: because we have machines at home so nothing here is very special or exciting even if you made it yourselves

G: oh. I think it's interesting.

 

We then moved on to the Juche hall, which was simply a collection of books written by the Dear and the Great. Dull again, nowhere near as interesting as it could have been. I was interested to learn more about the ideals of Juche (self sufficiency) but learned nothing apart from the height of a mountain near the birthplace of the Dear Leader - some nonsense about it being the same as the digits of his birthday.

 

Next was the anger inducing Korean War Museum, or to give it its full title "The Victorious Fatherland Liberation Museum", this was both hilarious and terrifying. The soldier/tour guide whisked us round rooms getting herself mixed up and offering us an entertaining look at the North Korean psyche. I was convinced she would end up in a gulag given the knots she tied herself into. Once she started using paintings of battles to prove what happened, I gave up listening too carefully. I do remember, however, some claim that North Korea was attacked by America, rallied its troops, defended its borders and sacked Seoul in three days. Of course it did. A wonderful diorama and panorama were used to demonstrate battles to us. They were just beautiful but hardly what I would call proof. My favourite moment came when inspecting aeroplanes captured in the war when the soldier/guide couldn't pronounce 'espionage' and was being given pronunciation lessons by our American. Priceless.

 

C and I both asked questions that were considered unacceptable by our guides: "has DPRK even conducted espionage?" and "does DPRK consider that it ever made mistakes in the war?" To begin with the soldier/guide tried to give the textbook answers of 'no' but then a flash of ingenuity shone through and she responded that 'perhaps DPRK had been involved in espionage, most countries had, but that she was just an ordinary person so how could she know?' Kudos for a great answer.

 

 A discussion about media and its use of language followed in the minibus. Every time we tried to suggest that North Koreans should temper their language if they want us to take them seriously, we were met with 'it's the North Korean way'. Fair enough but they will never be taken seriously if that's the case. We mentioned Wikipedia and how it works and suggested they get involved. That would be interesting as then they'd have to moderate their language.

 

Before heading to Nampo we stopped at Pyongyang's health spa - again, only available to the richest and most privileged, but don't let that spoil anyone's enjoyment. Some boys, C, included, went for a shave (inc. forehead and ears, oddly) while some of us went for a swim in the Olympic sized pool. I have to say that I've probably been in 50m pools only a handful of times in my life so this was pretty impressive. The female guide decided to come and swim with me (single sex lanes). So instead of swimming I spent my valuable hour teaching her the basics of swimming. Although I was a bit miffed to miss out on the swimming it was a lot of fun with her and for one, brief, hour we were just two girls enjoying the water together.

 

Of course, the spa was a total show piece and it's certainly only used by the most privileged but it was still interesting. The women's beauty parlour, for example, was pretty interesting since it looked like it hadn't changed since 1950. We were told that everything's new, it's just that fashion there looks like the 1950s to us. On the wall was a selection of haircuts available to people - no deviation please.

 

The route to Nampo is along a deserted eight lane highway that the Dear Leader, in his wisdom decided was necessary, during a famine. It's called the children's highway since they were co-opted/volunteered to make it. I don't know which was more upsetting, the sight of a deserted, crumbling highway that the guides believe will be chock-a-block with traffic in 2012, or the thought of hungry kids making the road, by hand, when they could have been studying/working on useful things/playing. Too often we heard reasons for kids to be taken out of school and put to work: once a week for weeding (every kid in the country), mass games practice, some other practice etc. etc.

 

Nampo is a spa resort on the coast - each of our rooms had a large mineral bath that we were encouraged to use in the spare 20 minutes we had between arrival and supper. Supper began with Korean sochu and a clam bbq organised by our guides. The bbq basically entailed shoving a load of clams on a mat, dousing them with petrol for 20 mins and burning the shit out of them. Delicious as long as one avoided the petrol taste! It was decided that the night was to be a drinking night so after supper, we retired to our private lounge to drink - beer with sochu poured in - ugh. The night got even better when two of the guides joined us. We were all drinking and enjoying being together, they even told us North Korean jokes:

 

Boy: Mummy, can I swim in the sea?

Mother: No darling, you can't.

Boy: But Daddy's swimming

Mother: Yes, but you're not insured.

 

From neat sochu to beer with sochu in it we moved to neat brown alcohol. None of us had any idea what it was but it certainly was potent.

 

Day 6:

A hangover from hell is not a good idea when faced with a long bus ride. I was planning on sleeping at our first destination: the barrage. I had no idea what a barrage might be but I was sure it would provide good sleeping time. Sadly it was interesting so I had to stay awake. One of the few sensible things we saw in this country: a dam type thing designed to do something neither C nor I can remember. He thinks it's to do with reclaiming land and flood prevention but I think it's to prevent salination of the river. Anyway, the video they showed us probably did tell us but we were concentrating on the hilarious propaganda and missed the facts. Ah well, that's North Korea for you. The video was so good I actually had to buy a copy. Our guides managed to grab a quick snooze here even if I didn't. I wonder what the Dear Leader would have to say about that?

 

We then moved to an orphanage in Nampo city. Given that I have spent a lot of time in similar institutions around the world I wasn't too concerned by what we saw. I'm sure the staff are doing their best by the kids, even if we didn't think some of them needed to be there. For some reason the North Korean way is to take triplets from their parents for the first three years of their lives. Clearly they've understood that triplets are born small and need extra post-natal care but they've then taken this to a very strange conclusion (not like them). It also seems that North Korea has more triplets than anywhere else, we saw far more sets than is normal. Questioning the validity of the decision to take children away from their parents rather than just offer support at home got us nowhere so we soon gave up. It was clear that none of the children were very healthy, all had skin problems and all looked fairly blank (and none were older than three). We were treated to an in promptu performance by these toddlers. Terrifying. They clearly spend a lot of their time being trained within an inch of their lives. Already perfecting the robotic smile of North Korean performers and the weird dance moves.  

 

A long drive back to Pyongyang along the Children's Highway and to our hotel for lunch, which I had to miss due to my hangover - sure I missed nothing since all meals are basically the same: soup, salad, kimchi, meat and rice.

 

After lunch we went to see the USS Pueblo, a US ship captured by the North Koreans. I had never heard of the ship prior to this visit and I think most westerners probably haven't as it simply wasn't considered to be of major importance. To North Koreans, however, it was a very big deal: proof that the USA was spying on them and wanted to return to war. I imagine it probably was a spy ship but there is no proof it was in North Korean waters when it was captured. There were copies of letters purportedly written by the US President apologising to Kim Il Song but I have no idea if they're real. I'll definitely be checking this out when I get home. The information/propaganda video was just hilarious and actually had us all laughing out loud at times, for me, particularly when the narrator declared that North Korea would 'declare wuuuur on the Imperialist forces of America'. Brilliant. We also learned that the reason the Americans wanted to fight North Korea was due to the depression in the USA after WWII (cue pictures of the Great Depression). Because the Americans could no longer sell munitions they had to force a war to allow them a market for their weapons. Nothing about proxy wars at all.

 

Since the funfair appeared to be broken we were taken bowling instead. It was impressive to see how exactly they had recreated a 1950s American bowling alley, right down to the ugly carpets and pool tables. The bar wouldn't even take our RMB, they only wanted USD; weird given how much they hate America.

 

We bumped into the Japanese Korean kids at the bowling alley. This time they were with the North Korean kids and the difference between them was so stark. The Japanese kids were healthy, normal sized, smiling and had good clothes, bags and cameras. The Koreans were malnourished, small and with poor clothing. Surely this should tell them everything they need to know?

 

I actually did notice a number of signs hinting at the dire poverty we weren't allowed to see: people washing themselves and their clothes in the stream by the road (enjoying a swim when I asked our guides!), people living in absolute hovels, kids with no shoes and big bellies. Everyone was smaller than they should be because the diet just isn't adequate. That these people are then forced to work building roads and completing other hard tasks disgusts me.

 

A walk in the park at the end of the day was a nice surprise. It wasn't on any itinerary but was a treat for us for having been so well behaved. The park was lovely and was being enjoyed by everyone and, just like in China, people we dancing in large groups. As we approached one group they broke off and began grabbing at us to dance with them. Most of us did (I was still feeling extremely sick so filmed rather than danced) and everyone loved it. I think they often see groups of foreigners and often get them to join in but for us it was really special. I was later grabbed and hugged by a (drunk?) woman as we walked.

 

Our last evening meal was a Korean duck BBQ, which was absolutely delicious. After supper I asked one of the guides to help me translate some postcards we'd bought. She wasn't allowed to sit with me alone so we had to have another guide there to make sure nothing untoward was said!

 

Day 7:

I was both relieved and sad to leave North Korea. I felt I'd made a bond with one of the guides that would now be lost, I just hope we manage to stay in touch, even if I can never say anything controversial in letters in case she gets in trouble.

 

The train journey was slow and nowhere near as interesting as we'd been led to believe. We'd hoped we'd see new scenery but I think we'd spent a lot of time in the countryside so didn't see much that was new. On the Chinese side of the border we had to wait for two hours and once the train started moving again we realised we were locked into the North Korean section of the train. While I understand that they may wish to prevent the North Koreans from moving around, we certainly weren't standing for this so stood and hammered at the door until they let us through. We were shouted at a bit by a guard but we stood our ground and all was eventually fine and we made it to the restaurant carriage where we had a feast of a meal and celebrated our safe return to China.

 

I certainly now see China in a new light. It has come an incredibly long way since the dark days of Mao and although there's plenty to not like about the place, it is fairly free, far more developed (in the cities) and capitalist than the North Koreans can even conceive of from their closest ally.

 

The conversations we had with the guides left me with the full gamut of emotions: confusion, amusement, sadness, anger. That the North Korean people can so firmly believe such nonsense about the world and their place within it breaks my heart every time I think about it. We came out with as many questions as we went in and we'll never be able to answer many of them. I know there must be some who don't believe whole heartedly, who are naturally curious or who simply don't give a damn but we were only permitted to meet those who either do fully believe or who are prepared to give that line to foreigners. Life in Pyongyang may be sweet compared to the rest of the country but in order to access it one must be cleaner than clean and accept even more control over life than those in the countryside. We learned that everyone must give up two weeks per harvest to plant rice and that every one cleans their home area once a week. There are big banners everywhere asking/telling people to do their patriotic duty.

 

2012 is apparently the year North Korea's fortunes will change. The tourists will come, trade will come and they will be a developed country. We were told this whilst driving down the empty eight lane highway. No one laughed, the three intelligent guides all believed this. I imagine that when it doesn't happen they will be able to blame America, the UN (America's stooge) and sanctions. It certainly won't be their fault and it couldn't possibly be the fault of the Dear Leader who advises and rules them so perfectly.  At one point I asked how the two Koreas could be reunified, predictably I received the answer, 'well we hope that the South will invite the Dear Leader to rule when they understand him better'. I decided enough was enough at this point and responded with a quiet, calm 'that will never happen'. The guide almost seemed to short-circuit and there ended that conversation.

 

I will be very interested to meet North Koreans when all this madness is over and they're free to travel and to think for themselves. I'll never forget this trip and what it's taught me about the frailty of the human mind and its ability to deceive itself.

 

What do I want to tell people about North Korea? I guess that the few people we were able to meet were lovely, kind and smart but very, very deluded. Before going there it was kind of funny to think that people might truly believe that KJI is so special; now, I'm appalled and disgusted. What a waste of talent. People are trained so well in certain things, they are dedicated and willing and all their talents are being wasted. Criminal. North Korea is so poor yet it doesn't need to be, it has more potential than anywhere else I've seen but will achieve nothing unless they get rid of the idiots at the top. It is terrifying what the human mind can be duped into believing - KJI can do no wrong, he knows more than everyone else, the world is out to get them, their lives are better than ours, their technology is world class, their media is an accurate portrayal of the world, everything will change by 2012...

 

If we're looking for a dictator to beat all dictators then KIS and KJI are incredible. They may not have killed as many of their own people as Stalin or Mao but they keep them subservient far more successfully through their cult of the leader nonsense.

 

I think what upset me the most was glimpsing the fear that feel is so real:  the fear that the rest of the world wants to annihilate them - a perfect excuse for KJI keeping everyone down and using his 'songun' policy (military first) to spend money on unnecessary military installations. I think the country might have a collective breakdown if they realised how unimportant they are and how most people really don't care.

 

The need to question seems to have been bred out of them - no one questions the media or their version of history. That we do question what we're told at school and on tv simply demonstrates that our system is inferior. If an entire nation can be taught to believe that paintings are historical evidences, that the media is always an accurate portrayal and that one man is basically a super hero then I have little hope for change.

 

The sanctions can only help if people aren't lied to about them. Yes, they'll hurt the top brass only but they're a perfect excuse for the lack of development. Even if they were cancelled I suspect KJI wouldn't tell the people. It's much easier to blame the USA than poor policies.

 

And then I look at China and see how far its come - there are no propaganda posters on the streets (they're consigned to museums and shops - just curios now). The only posters we see are for consumer products and films, just like anywhere else. People have access to most information and can get around censorship if they choose to. The place is clearly developing rapidly and although there's still huge poverty, they are working on its eradication. Their political system may not be to our taste but no one can say that China hasn't changed a great deal.